Usually I hate the end of the month, and the start of a new one. It serves no purpose but to remind me that time goes way too quickly and I have still achieved basically nothing that I want to achieve. And it is now the start of April, and I could not be more happy about it. Which completely contradicts what I just said. But April is almost July..sort of. When you’ve been waiting a year and a half to start uni like I have, April is definitely very much almost July. From about the beginning of this year I have been excited as each month started and the last one ended, so I can finally be doing what I want and starting to achieve what I want to do, as being your average receptionist/adminstration assistant was definitely never on my list of life goals or to-dos.
However, the closer it gets to July, the more I realise I’m not sure what I want to do. I am enrolled to start a psychology degree, and although I am extremely interested in psychology, I don’t know if I definitely want to be a psychologist. I know, of course, that there can be many outcomes of a psychology degree and it doesn’t necessarily mean being a psychologist, but I think my sudden change of heart on something I was so set on is the creative drought my life is currently suffering from. My mind is creative, all day every day I’m thinking of wonderful and fantastical things and ideas. I live in a little world of my own and I quite like it there. But my actual life is currently quite void of any creativity or arty stuff or whatever you would like to call it.
Since leaving school, I have been working full time in reception/administration positions, and it made me realise that in high school, I had completely taken for granted how much I got to write and play and create. Which got me thinking about the thing I have been passionate about since I was a young chlid- writing. Which got me thinking about actually being a writer. Which got me thinking about things like creative writing courses and writing and editing magazines and how amazing it would feel to have written a successful published novel and all of those wonderful things. Which then put me in quite a predicament. I don’t want to not do psychology, but I have all of these creative urges bubbling up inside of me and they are very determinedly trying to get out. They’ve been whizzing around in there for quite a while, you see, so I don’t blame them at all.
The other thing is, psychology will most likely not get me anywhere extraordinary. Writing can. By this I don’t necessarily mean career wise (that too though), but also personally.
My current solution is this:
Study psychology and do creative writing on the outside. Although there are still ideas and options buzzing around my mind, this one makes sense. There is no reason why I should just do one thing.
One of my many life mottos- do what you love.